First Date ISU

Date goer: I think that first dates are designed to make women feel like jerks so that they will put out.
Vicarious date goer: well if that's true then I am just a whore
because I never feel bad and I put out anyway.

3 day rule ISU

"Hating the game and ready to punch the player in the face"

Sick Day ISU

"Can I take a sick day for a sex injury?"

Inappropriate Post Date Conversation

Slutty Girl: "Shamrock boxers? Really?"

Anonymous Irishman: "What? It's always Saint Patrick's Day. In my pants."

Inappropriate Mid-Date Texts

Sluttier Girl: "Should I mess around with [anonymous Irishman]?

Slutty Girl: "What does your heart tell you?"

Sluttier Girl: "Yes!...at least I think it's my heart..."

Inappapriate Pre-Date Texts

Slutty Girl: "I should stop shaving my legs before a date. Then bringing someone home isn't even an option.

Sluttier Girl: "It's still an option. I've done it."

Inappropriate History Conversation

"So basically Poland was taking it from both sides"

Inappropriate at Work

Sane Person: "Leave it to you to sexually harass someone with an emoticon."

Crazy Person: "My sexual prowess transcends technology."