Sick Day ISU

"Can I take a sick day for a sex injury?"

Inappropriate Post Date Conversation

Slutty Girl: "Shamrock boxers? Really?"

Anonymous Irishman: "What? It's always Saint Patrick's Day. In my pants."

Inappropriate Mid-Date Texts

Sluttier Girl: "Should I mess around with [anonymous Irishman]?

Slutty Girl: "What does your heart tell you?"

Sluttier Girl: "Yes!...at least I think it's my heart..."

Inappapriate Pre-Date Texts

Slutty Girl: "I should stop shaving my legs before a date. Then bringing someone home isn't even an option.

Sluttier Girl: "It's still an option. I've done it."

Inappropriate History Conversation

"So basically Poland was taking it from both sides"

Inappropriate at Work

Sane Person: "Leave it to you to sexually harass someone with an emoticon."

Crazy Person: "My sexual prowess transcends technology."

Jewish Singles Night Part II

Backstory: Jenny is Jewish, Grace is not. Entering Jewish Singles Night, in an attempt to make it seem as if Grace is Jewish, Jenny poses a question to her:

Jenny: SO, Grace, what was YOUR Bat Mitzvah theme?
Grace: Christmas.
Jenny: ...
Grace: What was your Bat Mitzvah theme?
Jenny: Noah's Arc mothafuckah!!

Newly Single

Newly Single Friend: "I need to know what's new in sex. I haven't dated for awhile. Last time I was on the dating scene spanking was new and I was a bit...surprised."


Slutty Friend #1: "Hair pulling."


Slutty Friend #2: "Biting.